The childrens corner in a library, could books possibly be dangerous?

I’m sure you’ve read fairy tales as a child. Maybe you’re still reading one every night before you go to sleep, I don’t know. Fairy tales can be very entertaining, but they can actually be sort of dangerous too. Want to know why? Be my guest and continue reading.

Yes, the tales in the storybooks are fake, unreal, made up. They even make someone like Michael Jackson look authentic. We know that, small children don’t. They can have a hard time separating real from fake, and they don’t have to understand something to be effected. Maybe you think it’s silly of me to write something about kid stories, but think about it. After all, we’ve all been children, we’re probably going to have children of our own some day, and I for one, don’t feel particularly grown up yet.

Princess = Helpless, Dumb & Desperate One of the biggest problems with fairy tales is the twisted image of males and females they present. It’s no wonder we women didn’t have the right to vote until pretty recently, when this is the stuff everyone is raised with. Here’s my take on the female characters in the most famous fairy tales of our time. Warning! Fair(l)y high levels of sarcasm ahead. Sleeping Beauty – Her main-accomplish in life: Spending 100 years asleep without drooling or snoring even once. How does she do it…? Snow-White – The ever so stunning girl who’s perfectly happy spending her life as a maid to seven dwarfs. Well, who wouldn’t want that? Cinderella – She cleans and tries on fancy shoes. Yeah, I’m so impressed… Little Red Riding Hood - Is she blind or just very stupid? The Princess and the Pea - First of all the bed is that uncomfortable, perhaps she should check why that is. Or even just be lazy and simply change bed. Second of all: Why was the girl out walking in the rain in the first place? Here’s a tip, if you have to go outside while it’s raining there’s this really nifty invention called ‘the umbrella’. And last, but not least:f she really bruises that easily I hope that the prince know how to appreciate a long distance-relationship. I would hate to see how the poor little princess would look after the wedding night. Ouch! The Little Mermaid - Saving drowning people is nice but I think that a healthy relationship should be based on something more. Try talking to the guy... Oh, I forgot. She can’t… And your main goal in life shouldn’t sum up to ‘kiss prince or else’. But the evil seahag is cool. The Beauty and the Beast - This story begins so nicely. The girl‘s pretty and smart. She sees beyond the ‘tough guy’ exterior of the beast and falls in love with him. Can we paste the “happily ever after” here? If I have fallen in love with the beast, then I shouldn’t want some Nancy-Pansy prince guy. Understood!? Who wants to grow up and be like one of these fine women? Not me, that’s for sure. But guess what a lot of girls always chose to be when they play dress-up. Yeah, that’s right, a princess, ‘just like in the fairy tales’. (By the way, doesn’t anyone in a fairy tale have a real name?)

Princes have no personality And let’s face it; the guys don’t have it much easier. Sure, no one locks them up in a tower for an entire length of a story, but the life of a prince pretty much sucks too. All of the ‘heroes’ in the stories must be related somehow, possibly inbred. They’re all tall, handsome knights on white horses, their IQ may not be so high (and they totally lack personality), but they make up for it by their know-how on how to save damsels in distress. At least that’s how it’s supposed to work. Let me just say: Yawn… Look above for my comment on the “Nancy-Pansy prince guy” Yawn again. The other manly characters (I use ‘manly’ very loosely) in the stories are the Kings and the evil Villains. As a king, your dream is to find a brave (read: stupid enough) prince who are willing to save your beautiful, of course, daughter from a faith worse than death (read: being single after 25). As the villain, your job is to be evil; it’s as simple as that. If I, by some cruel twist of fate, should find myself in a fairy tale I really hope I’m the horse or something. A dragon would be kind of cool. Then I would be able fly, breath fire and eat the most boring heroes. Wonder if they’ve got ketchup…

Fairy tales are always happy, but never gay Wouldn’t it be funny if one of the princes would go: Sorry, my Lord. I can’t marry your daughter. Why not you ask? Well, there’s nothing wrong with the girl, except that she is a girl. I just saved her to be nice. I’ve been going steady with Prince Charming for over a year now. I think that would be the best thing that’s ever happen in a fairy tale! Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening in the near future. The only thing to come out of a fairy tale closet is lots of glittering dresses, and maybe some talking mice. Wonder if they’re gay?

The disease is spreading! Remember what I said in the beginning about reading this kind of stories when you were younger? I’ve got some news for you all. Even if you’ve stopped reading fairy tales years ago, you’re not completely free of them. In the last decades, something that’s equally bad has come in; something called ‘The Romantic Comedy’. Watch out, it may look harmless, but it’s just a cover. At the very least you have to watch out so you don’t get diabetes from all the sugary fluffiness. And by that I don’t mean the cotton candy they sell at the cinema.

Some basic guidelines, from me to you When you’re reading a fairy tale there’s a few things you have to remember when you join us in the real world again. Just remember the six things below and you’ll be fine: - Even if your Math teacher looks and acts like a witch (and give out nasty homework to boot), you can not bring a sword to class and kill her. No one is truly evil like in the storybooks. Maybe she had a traumatic childhood or something. If you’re almost positive that’s she a witch, throw some water on her. If she melts, all rules are off. There are no talking animals. If you think your cat is talking, try to relax more and drop some extra curricular activities. Stress can be a serious problem if not dealt with. - Don’t marry people you’ve only know for a few hours. It doesn’t work out! If you want proof, just check the latest celebrity gossip. - To all females reading: Don’t wait for Prince Charming to come and rescue you. He might be on a date with some other guy. Help yourself, you can do it! - To all males reading: If women are weak, frail and helpless, then you men are stupid, inbred clones. Do we have a deal? And one final tip from me before I leave you: - Watch the two Shrek-movies. That’s how a fairy tale is supposed to be.

And the author lived happily ever after. Or at least for five more minutes. Then she remembered the pile of unfinished homework that needed to be done… The End

© 1997-2004 Freeway
Writers: Petra Grundström (sp06-08@park.se)
HTML by: Richard Norefjord (te05-47@park.se).