When my friends and I get together to have a party, after the revelry, when we are sat around a roaring log fire, glasses of wine in hand, cheeks red with cheer, the talk invariably turns to time travel. We debate (often heatedly if we have had lots of wine) the moral and scientific issues surrounding time travel, our own theories as to how time travel could be achieved (I have always favoured the good old “alarm clock in a microwave” concept) and, almost always, discuss where we would go should the technology ever be available to us. Personally, I would like to visit ancient Athens.

“Ancient Athens!” a friend will say with a look of bemusement. “Wouldn’t you rather visit prehistoric times, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth?” “No, you idiot!” I reply. “I would most likely be eaten by the dinosaurs, and that would not be good”. Another friend will ask wouldn’t I rather visit the Middle Ages? “No!” I will reply once more, this time stating that I would most likely come down with the bubonic plague and die, which would also not be good. “What about the future?” one very silly friend will enquire. “Well,” I will say, smirking, “everyone knows that in the future robots will rule everything, which will signal the end of humanity as we know it. Which would not be good. I thought everyone knew that!” Then I will drain my glass of wine, storm out of the room, and retire to my bed for the evening.

But why exactly do I want to go to ancient Athens? Wasn’t it just a smelly city full of smelly people with even smellier slaves? Perhaps it was (if so I will fit right in). But, then again, perhaps it wasn’t. Time travel would give me the opportunity to find out the answer to that and many other important questions. But, much more than that, ancient Athens in its fifth century (known as The Golden Age) was really pretty great. Led by Pericles, probably the most important Athenian politician ever (and one of the fathers of democracy), Athens became just really unbelievably cool during that time. Pericles sponsored the poets and dramatists that made Athens the cultural centre of the Greek world, such as Aeschylus and Aristophanes, as well as hundreds of artists and musicians; he ordered the construction of the Parthenon and dozens more public attractions; he organised many city wide festivals; and he masterminded Athenian strategies during the Peloponnesian War, helping Athens to kick some major Peloponnesian ass. He was also responsible for Greek imperialism and the expansion of Athenian rule (maybe not such a good thing, as it resulted in the death of lots of people. That said, the message couldn’t be clearer – don’t mess with Athens). Unfortunately, Pericles, along with most of his family and about a third of the Athenian population, died of the plague that ravaged Athens in 429 BC. Which was not good.

So, I suppose if I were to travel back to ancient Athens I could meet Pericles, watch an Aeschylean play, get drunk and sacrifice a lamb to Zeus, and maybe even fight in a battle or two. It would be great, way better than a week in some second rate holiday destination. Of course, I’d have to leave before 429 BC so that I would avoid the plague. But, then again, I could just zip back to before the plague struck, and do it all over again (nevermind those theories that I would see myself and my head would explode due to the irrationality of it - I think that two of me would make a wonderful double-team).

COULD TIME TRAVEL SOLVE THE AGE-OLD QUESTION OF WHETHER THE ANCIENT GREEKS HAD ANY ARMS OR NOT?

I think that if I liked it enough (which I almost certainly would), I would probably end up staying in ancient Athens and living there. I would have a nice house and would start my own business selling things from the future that, while seemingly insignificant to us, would astound the ancient Greeks. Biros, yo-yos, lollipops, that sort of thing. The more inquisitive amongst you may wonder what I would do with my time machine so as not to lead to its discovery and arouse suspicion - I would simply hide it in some bushes (which were plentiful in ancient Greece).

So, in conclusion, ancient Athens was one happening place that I definitely want to visit some day. It was a lot better than here and now. In fact, writing this article has made me realise how bad the present day really is. I implore Science to get a move on and figure out how time travel can be achieved so I can leave this place for good instead of wasting money on curing diseases and stuff. Boring.

Where would you like to visit in the mysterious dimension we call time?

© 1997-2006 Freeway
Writers: Matt Atkinson
HTML by: David Broad .