What does it take to be good?

At some point in our lives, we all wonder whether we are good people. This was a conversational topic with our friends during a lunch hour recently, and we each had some original ideas as to what makes a good person. Even the most insecure of us can admit that they consider themselves a good person. It is the idea of this, which drives us to get up in the morning, to live our lives, come into contact with other people. It’s such a mind numbing concept to try and grasp. But it is true, we are all self-centered, it’s inevitable and we can’t be blamed for that, but we can be blamed for going about life with a selfish attitude, without empathy, or understanding for other people. Too much empathy can be a bad thing you have to have a certain amount of self respect and knowing when enough goodness is enough otherwise you will get walked all over you by someone taking you for granted. So there is also a need for self respect. Not pride, after all this is considered a deadly sin, but self respect. If you respect yourself, in theory, is it easier to respect others? Although I don’t think that self respect and empathy are mutual exclusive you can be both its just what we need is to find a balance that works. And a balance of selflessness and doing what is right for us. Maybe if Adam and Eve left that god damn apple alone we would not all be in this state!

But it’s the way we are, because at the end of the day, you are all you've REALLY got, all you'll really ever have. I remember when I was little, someone telling me that I was the only real person in the universe, everyone else were robots, brought in to fool me. I soon learnt to abandon this ridiculous idea, but I do remember, immediately after being told it, I felt very alone, and, of course, very selfish. That is a very dangerous thing to belief, and a risky way of life. I want to be good. I really do. I want to be a good person. That’s selfish in itself really! The idea of wanting to be a good person...so that I feel good.......so that I am liked.....would it make me egomaniacal?

Wanting to be good is selfish because we do good things for us so that WE will feel better. Not really for the world or the poor or whoever, we do it for ourselves so that we feel happy and have a clean conscience, so that when a person dies of AIDs or whatever we can sit back and think it’s not my fault, I gave them a few pounds last week… It’s sickening, but it’s human nature. And to be 100% honest we can’t change that we are the way we are. I guess, however, that if we were all perfect it would be so boring. And who would you compare yourself to, I mean I know I am a good person because I don’t go around murdering, stealing and mugging but if the people who did these kinds of things didn’t exists who would we look at and say’ I am not a bad person because I don’t do that.’ Or is it that we would not want or need to compare ourselves to anyone else, because we would not need to worry about whether we were good or not, and could concentrate on more important things, like love. We can, however, change the way that we behave to each other, being more considerate. I’m sure we can all admit that we've done things in the past, we could never imagine doing now, but these things are what -perhaps ironically- make us better; learning from mistakes-you will always have to live with the knowledge that you have done it, but at the same time, you know that you would not repeat it, and I suppose, that’s an improvement. Of course, it’s better not to do these things in the first place, but I’m trying to be optimistic here.

So, what does it take?