Is It Ever OK To Cheat In A Relationship?

 

For everyone entering a relationship, it would be hoped that the answer would be a resounding, ‘Never!’ However, watch out lovers, because we are not all as sweet and loving as we may like to make our boyfriends/ girlfriends believe!

            I decided to do some investigating of my own in order to discover whether males and females ever think it’s acceptable to cheat (whether it be kissing or more) and the reasoning behind their answers. The common stereotype that men are more likely to be caught cheating on their girlfriends, may have derived from portrayals of men in media, such as television programmes or even real life affairs heavily publicised; for example, there are often reports of unfaithful footballers, actors and even politicians, such as Bill Clinton! However, on the contrary, (though only a minuscule portion of society), it emerged from my investigation into the thoughts of students from my sixth form college that males AND females were able to think of practically the same amount of situations where they believed it was justified to cheat on their partner (men found only one more reason)!

            Interestingly, only three of the ‘acceptable’ situations were shared for both male and female; these were: if you are under the influence of alcohol at the time, if it is done on impulse spontaneously or perhaps most shockingly, if the new person is more attractive! All other situations considered acceptable to cheat in different between the genders. For example, men’s answers were: if you believe that the new person is your true soul mate, if the cheating takes place in a different country, or the most common answer, if their girlfriends had already cheated on them. Does this imply that men are more spiteful seeking for revenge or sneaky because a ‘holiday romance’ abroad is almost always unlikely to be continued?

          On the other hand, do women try to avoid complications, ‘having their cake and eating it’ some might say, as one of their situations believed to be acceptable, is if they are bored in a relationship, but do not want to hurt their boyfriend by breaking up with him. Another ‘acceptable’ situation described by the females was if they are with an abusive boyfriend (not specified whether this was verbally or physically), but this situation is a totally different matter altogether!

            It may be surprising given the common stereotype, but when questioned, men could only think of one less reason why cheating is unacceptable than women when answering that it was never OK to cheat in a relationship. However, most of the reasons differed between the genders, with only three shared reasons: if you like someone enough you would not need to cheat, a relationship is a commitment that should be valued and trust needs to be present in a relationship. The exclusively female reasons were: that cheating is unfaithful/unloyal, you will hurt the feelings of others, it is immoral, effects not only the two people involved but can effect a whole family and they wouldn’t want the same to be done to them. The exclusively male reasons were: that you wouldn’t have a successful relationship with the new person as the affair would have been based on lies and deceit, a man should take pride in/ appreciate their woman and that it was believed to be the worst possible thing you could do to someone.

            The most common reason why it is unacceptable to cheat shared between the genders, was that if you were not happy in the relationship, you should end it before complications of affairs occur. So why do people cheat on their partners? Why isn’t the relationship ended before even more hurt can be caused? Have you ever been cheated on OR cheated, if so, what was your excuse?

By Kate O’Donnell, England.